..::Answered Prayers::.. Haiti, China, Africa

Your Newly Adopted Child’s Hair

Dear adoptive family congratulations on your decision to adopt from Haiti! As time nears for your child’s arrival into your home, you are no doubt wondering how you are going to care for his or her hair. If you are adopting a boy and plan to keep his hair short then most of this letter won’t apply to you, therefore lets get the basics out of the way first.

A few very important things to keep in mind, no two children will have the same hair type, what works for one won’t always work for another, in fact if it does, consider yourself lucky! There is no one miracle product that works for every one, you may have to search for literally years to find the right product that leaves your child’s hair soft and moisturized, don’t become discouraged. And lastly this is a natural hair care guide, you wont find directions on how to relax or “perm” hair here.

Bath Time and Washing Hair:

Infants:

Your infant will have soft fluffy curls and will not require much work, your child’s hair is continuously changing until the time they reach 3-4 years of age, enjoy that soft fluffy hair while you can because before long your babies hair will begin to grow coarser and drier. You can wash your babies hair using a regular baby shampoo, and then apply a leave in conditioner.

Children Two-three and up:

When it comes to bath time your child may prefer to stand rather than set, this is because older children stand in washing basins for their baths in Haiti. You should only wash your child’s hair once a week, and for some children once every other week. If your child has dry brittle hair you may want to give him or her a hot oil treatment before you shampoo. You simply apply olive oil to the hair and then wrap a warm towel around the head and let set for 10 minutes, I however do not like to do this with young children, so I put on a swim cap to hold the heat in, then rinse after 10 minutes. When you wash your child’s hair you will need to rinse with warm water, then starting at the nape of the neck with shampoo and work your way forward concentrating on the scalp and then working the shampoo up into the hair, then rinse with warm water. After rinsing you will then need to follow the same method as before with conditioner, once you have applied the conditioner comb it through the hair with a wide-tooth comb always starting at the end of the hair and working your way to the scalp. Let the conditioner set for 10 minutes, and then rinse it out with warm water, apply the swim cap again and allow the child to play without worrying about getting their hair wet in the tub. While your child plays you can be washing him or her off, the best soap and only I have found to work and not totally dry skin out is dove unscented for sensitive skin, this is also safe for children who have eczema, if your child does have eczema you will not want any perfumed soap or lotions as it causes irritation. When you have rinsed the conditioner out and bath time is over you will want to pat your child’s hair dry with a towel, hidden moisture will continue to come out for awhile, but you do not want to rub the child’s hair with a towel or your child will start to collect the lint from the towel and you will have a small dilemma on your hands. I do not recommend blow-drying your child’s hair; it will dry it out especially at first since due to malnutrition your child will have fragile hair.

After Bath time:

After you have dried your child off from his or her bath, you will need to generously apply some form of lotion, here are a few I have found to work:

Cocoa Butter

Shea Butter

Proclaim’s “Cocoa and Shea Butter”

Eucerin (in a tub, this is very thick and has to melt in)

African Royale’s “Soft As Me” (Contains many essential oils)

Cetaphil

After you have applied lotion and dressed your child it is now time to concentrate on the hair. If you have a boy with short hair you will simply need to apply a form of hairdress, or use a spray in leave in conditioner.

When purchasing hair dress and other hair products try to avoid products that use Petrolatum/Petroleum and Mineral Oil, it is nearly impossible to find a product that doesn’t contain one or the other, I find mineral oil the least offensive of the two. Work the hairdress in with your hands, or brush it through with a boars bristle brush. You are now ready to style your child’s hair, here are a few products you will need:

Boars bristle brush

Wide tooth comb (hair rake)

Rattail comb (all combs preferably seamless)

Covered bands (terry cloth)

Ouchless elastic bands by goody or scrunchie they look like plastic.

If you should need help in finding these supplies check at your local Sally’s beauty supply, if you do not have a Sally’s check at another beauty supply store or African-American Beauty shop.

Hair Time

Chances are your child will use Hair time as a time to test you, set firm and loving boundaries and find a form of distraction, a movie, a dolls hair to fix, a book to read etc. Many children may fall asleep as you fix their hair, with small children lay them across your lap, in older children set in a chair and have them set in front of you on the ground or in a child sized chair with their head at your knees. Remember that children can get inpatient and if it takes you over an hour to fix their hair they will need a break every now and again to get up stretch their legs and go to the restroom. It can however be difficult to get a child to settle down again after a break, give them about 10 minutes at the most, then start working on their hair again. Do not become frustrated with your styling ability this is something new to you and it will take time to master it. Start with simple styles, you may even just undo one braid at a time and redo it the way that it was when your child arrived home. You will want to move the parts around after awhile however so this will only work at first, if you don’t move your parts it could lead to hair breakage at the hairline. Twists should be left in no longer than two weeks and braids no longer than 6 or they will begin to loc. Your styles may not even last a week at first this is ok, they will last longer as you go, this will encourage bonding with your child too, hair time is supposed to be a pleasant bonding time. If your child is older, around 4 and up she may know how to do twists, and can show you and help you fix her own hair, older children may know more difficult styles. Allow your child to show you what he or she knows, and give your child choices about how she wants her hair fixed so she feels confident and independent in herself. After a bath part your child’s hair in large parts, thoroughly comb out each part starting at the hair ends and working your way to the scalp, twist each section so it does not get tangled again.

Extensions and Perms

Extensions and Perms are something I strongly discourage, especially at first when your childs hair is weak, If your daughter had short hair you may be pressured to add extensions, as your child gets older you will be pressured to relax her hair. I strongly at first urge you not to do either, teach your children to be proud of their natural hair and not follow the pressures of society to straighten it. Perm is another word for chemically straightening hair, if you begin this process you will have to continue it, please try and make your child wait until she reaches an old enough age to understand the implications and make an educated decision. One scenario I have heard is that once the hair has been relaxed you will have to continue relaxing it as soon as the new natural growth crops up or it will break off at the new growth, I have not confirmed this. Extensions are a way of adding length to the hair, I must confess I have done extensions, however the children had been home over two years and had healthy hair at this point and they were latch hook extensions not typical extensions. If you do use extensions latch hook is a great way to start, you simply cornrow the hair and then latch hook the pre-braided extensions into the cornrows. Only do this occasionally and not all of the time or the added weight will lead to hair breakage and loss. Use your discretion, a 4-year-old girl could not naturally have hair past her bottom, the hair would be to heavy and cause it to break and pull painfully. A lot of people recommend waiting until age 7 to use typical extensions, the hair is much heavier and pulls more on the scalp.

Styles

Twists: Twists are very simple; you take a section of hair and divide it in half, and twist the two pieces around one another to form a rope looking twist.

Braids: I’m sure you know how to braid, so I wont describe this, however you will need to make sure you are always braiding twisting etc, under handed meaning you see the palm of your hand not the back of it.

Cornrows: You begin a cornrow by braiding typically the first rotation, after you have passed each of the three sections through your hand, pick up a piece of hair, make sure your hands are on top of the scalp so your row is tight. Now you will add after every piece of hair until you reach the end of the hairline and braid the rest normally.

Two-Strand Flat Twists: Two-strand flat twists are just the same as a cornrow only you are using two pieces of hair instead of three.

Resources for you

Books:

It's All Good Hair: The Guide to Styling and Grooming Black Children's Hair

by Michele N-K Collison

Kids Talk Hair: An Instruction Book for Grown-Ups & Kids

by Pamella Ferrell

I Love My Hair

by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley

Websites:

Kenya Jordana

http://www.kenyajordana.com/